Hate it

I started to realize I like my boyfriend less and less. The way he never gives me enough affection, or love. He just seems to ignore me half the time. And he wrote me a notee before we started going out. that he just wish we were " a hookup". NOT DATING! I ignored it. well I started talkn to my ex Kyle. He treated me wonderfull! he was everything a boyfriend should be. And James wants me to lose my virginty to him. And I don't I think it won't be special. But I seriously see me loseing it to Kyle! Which is crazy! I hate feeling so mixed up. I've tried to talk to James about it. But he says he tries as hard as he can. That just pisses me off. So I feel like me and James realationship is hanging on a cliff. And were about to fall off it. And maybe I'll be glad. Anyway thats it in a nutshell.