My head is not ok

Is it silly to pretend to a rich bi- yah know...I like to be mean just for alittle while. It gets rid of so much stress!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BFF thinks I'm acting funny which I am I guess....Not my fault.Life dealed me a crappy hand of cards. Deppresion hits suddnely .Yah know? I still cut I can't quit. Every two weeks. I let it heal then start again.........