I'm not alone?

Today has felt like an odd day. Everyone keeps asking how I am, but truthfully I am not sure how I feel. Sometimes I feel like dancing then at the same time crying. And Bethany needs support. Cause she and her bf( who just isn't mature enough) did it. And know he is acting strange. I think they should have waited. I just don't feel like making an effort. Last night was the worst. Dad being all pissy about everything. and my wrist is so sore now. So I cut my hip. Bethany pretends she knows all about, but sometimes she is to fake and involved w/ herself. I don't understand anymore. Since James, I've just screwed up and it's not like he'll take me back. And I still miss Chris..........I know it's wrong. He doesn't deserve it. Sometimes I feel so grownup? that It's time to die. And when I'm with a current BF I am thinking about the next one. feeling alone would be great, then there wouldn't be these problems.
How much longer can my shoulders hold up the wait of the world?

Lies written for liars

Geez! God I sound like a fucking 13 year old. Can't spell a thing. Oh well.

this is now

Things have changed alot. Me and James are over. And in some why it is a relief. I just not attracted to him. We broke up over no communication. And he hates me because I moved on. I just don't like being alone. I am a strong woman, but this is what I need. His name is Brad. He is really refreshing. Tall, well built. And when I kissed him, whoa hadn't felt like that in two months. we talk on the fun and it is great. I give alot in relationships. But I always hope for something back, you'd thing I'd give up. Its like I have short time memory loss. Brad is so down to earth. James controlled himself. I think he takes longer to dress than I do. And Chris, just as a guy hes cool, but in relationships he sucks. So I'm rellay sick. I have infections in my body trying to kill me. But things are working as in medicine.

I think we have an emergancy

SO hum is it bad cutting hum my bad. Your cove is all I think about. COVE my new dirty word from the help of beathanys bro. And bee says commericals make me laugh or her I'm skipping guitar practice...........my arm bleeds and I like it...............