Twos sides of messed up love

Will I ever be able to forgive him? can I move on? I mean Chris was my dream. Funny , loves music, good to talk to, and I mean when are lips connected it was magic. Notice all the was?!?!
My heart is truly empty to him. He will have no way to save him self in my eyes. I'm afraid maybe he wanted to break up with me along time ago and this is easier for him, I don't know. I wish I had options but there's no way he was innocent. See I like him so much I just want to wake up, and this never happened.
shadowed, confussed, and reckless.